‘i-i’ and ‘i-me’: Transposing Buber’s Interpersonal Attitudes to the Intrapersonal Plane

Hermans’ polyphonic model of the self proposes that dialogical relationships can be established between multiple I-positions (e.g. Hermans, 2001a). There have been few attempts, however, to explicitly characterise the forms that these intrapersonal relationships may take. Drawing on Buber’s (1958) distinction between the ‘I-Thou’ and ‘I-It’ attitude, it is proposed that intrapersonal relationships can take one of two forms: an ‘I-I’ form, in which one I-position encounters and confirms another I-position in its uniqueness and wholeness; and an ‘I-Me’ form, in which one I-position experiences another I-position in a detached and objectifying way. The paper goes on to argue that this I-Me form of intrapersonal relating is associated with psychological distress, and that this is for a number of reasons; most notably, because an individual who objectifies and subjugates certain I-position can not re-connect with more central I-positions when dominance reversal (Hermans, 2001a) takes place. On this basis, it is suggested that a key role of the therapeutic process is to help clients become more able to experience moments of I-I intrapersonal encounter, and it is argued that this requires the therapist to both confirm the client as a whole, and in terms of each of his or her different voices.